Always Something There to Remind Me
by Rambling Scribe
Summary: Some of Harry's scars are easy to see - some are hidden away. Ruth and Harry. Adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Spooks belongs to Kudos and the BBC**

**Dedication: For the POGs, especially Linda and Nat.**

**A/N: This is unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes. **

* * *

**Always Something There to Remind Me**

_Familiar acts are beautiful through love._

**Percy Bysshe Shelley - 'Prometheus Unbound' **

**Chapter 1**

The comms link crackled and there was the sound of gun shots and swearing. A lot of swearing.

"Alpha 3, this is Alpha 1, come in." There was a slight tremor in Malcolm's voice. "Alpha 2, Alpha 3, status report please."

The only reply was the incessant hiss of static.

"Alpha 1 to Delta Charlie 9, urgent sit-rep please."

The Special Forces officer's voice boomed round the Grid. "Alpha 1, this is Delta Charlie 9. Location is secure; six suspects detained. Standby for status report on Alphas 2 and 3."

Ruth's gaze hadn't left the digital map on her computer screen. Her eyes were locked on two yellow markers: the trackers belonging to Harry and Adam – Alphas 2 and 3. They were stationary.

"Alpha 1, Delta Charlie 9. Alphas 2 and 3 are safe and well. Repeat: Alphas 2 and 3 are safe and well. They've lost their comms. Message from Alpha 2: good work, see you in one hour. Message ends."

It wasn't until Malcolm gently squeezed her shoulder that Ruth finally looked away from her screen.

"Safe and well, Ruth. Safe and well."

Ruth was certain she must have counted every second of the next hour. When the pods finally opened, she was on the phone to a contact in GCHQ. She watched Harry and Adam walk across the Grid. Both of them looked tired and dishevelled. She felt her chest constrict when she saw blood on Harry's face. Her reaction must have been noticeable, at least to him, and he smiled softly at her before going into his office.

"Are you still there Ruth?" The voice at the end of the phone sounded faintly irritated.

"What? Sorry, yes. Sorry."

* * *

When she returned from the registry, Ruth was disappointed to see that Harry's office was empty. She hadn't spoken to him properly since he'd come back to the Grid. They had talked during the debriefing but that didn't count, not in her mind anyway, as there had been other people present. The rest of the time he'd either been on the phone or deep in conversation with Adam.

She placed some files on his desk and hesitated, wondering if she should just wait there until he returned. She was still trying to think up a convincing excuse for hanging around in his office when she was startled by a soft voice behind her.

"You should go home; you've had a long day."

"Harry… No, it's fine, I just h-have a couple more things-"

"Don't you ever do as you're told?" He didn't sound angry, just mildly amused.

She shrugged. "Sometimes. It depends who's doing the telling."

It was good to see him laugh; somehow, it made things seem less…fraught.

He moved nearer to her and she could see the cut on his jaw line had started to ooze blood again. "You're bleeding."

He ran his fingers over the wound. "Don't worry; it'll stop."

"Let me get you something for it."

He tried to tell her that it didn't matter but she had hurried out of his office before he finished talking. She returned a few minutes later with a first aid kit and made him sit on the sofa so she could tend to him.

Harry was certain that if their situation had been reversed, his hands would be shaking far more than Ruth's were. As it was, she seemed remarkably in control as she held his face still and cleaned the cut with an antiseptic wipe.

"It'll probably leave a scar."

He was unconcerned. "One more for the collection."

Her thumb gently brushed over a faded mark on his chin, discernable only in bright light or close proximity.

"Souvenir of Northern Ireland. Fight in a pub."

Their eyes met as he spoke and she wondered what other mementos he'd been left with. For a moment she considered asking him but then rejected the idea. She might be his confidante in matters of the Grid, but he kept most other things to himself.

Harry was disappointed when she removed her hand from his face and busied herself with finding a dressing. He'd thought she was going to question him about the fight in Ireland; he would have told her, too. It wasn't much of a story but it would have done as an excuse to keep her sitting next to him for a few more minutes.

Ruth had finished applying some steri-strips to the wound. "That should be OK." She eyed her handiwork critically. "I don't think I'm much of a loss to the nursing profession though."

"I wouldn't say that."

She made a 'hmm' noise and started to tidy up, fiddling about with the first aid box, trying to cram everything back into it as Harry watched her.

"Seeing as you've patched me up, the least I can do is give you a lift home."

"No, there's no need." She'd finally won the battle with the plastic container.

"Yes there is. Don't argue." He stood up and walked slowly across his office.

"You're not seriously contemplating driving are you?"

"I'm fine." The struggle he was having to put his jacket on belied the assertion.

"Give me your keys." She stood in front of him, her hand held out and a determined look on her face.

"I'm perfectly capable-"

"It seems I'm not the only one who doesn't do as they're told."

He opened his mouth then closed it again, deciding that arguing with her was a waste of time.

* * *

Ruth neatly parked the car outside Harry's house and switched off the engine.

"There's a bus stop round the corner, isn't there?"

"Yes, why?" Harry questioned.

"So that I can get a bus home."

He shook his head. "You're not getting the bus, not at this time of night. Borrow my car. I'll pick it up tomorrow."

"Harry, I use the bus late at night all the-"

"For God's sake, Ruth!" He spoke more harshly than he intended and quickly backtracked. "I'm sorry. It's…I'd feel happier if you took the car."

Her gaze remained fixed on the steering wheel and she didn't reply.

"Please? Or get a taxi. I'll pay."

"OK, I'll get a taxi," she said, quietly. "But _I'll_ pay."

"Fine." He paused. "Will you come in and have a drink before you go home?"

She nodded.

* * *

"I thought it was Friday nights you couldn't get a cab," Harry mused as he put the phone down on the kitchen table. "They're saying it'll be at least an hour as well."

"It's OK Harry, I'll-" He looked like he was going to interrupt so she held her hand up. "I'll borrow your car, so long as you're sure you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." He smiled, relieved she'd finally agreed to his suggestion. "You were telling me the truth then."

She looked puzzled. "About what?"

"That sometimes you do as you're told."

"Don't push your luck," she admonished, although there was humour in her voice.

"Sorry." As he leant back in his chair and stretched his legs out, Ruth saw him wince.

"I still don't understand how you ended up cut, bruised and," she reached across the table and tugged at the sleeve of his shirt, "covered in oil."

"Well I had fifteen stone of Special Forces soldier squashing me into the tarmac at one stage."

"Lucky you."

"Please tell me you don't harbour a secret fantasy of being pinned down by some sweaty bloke in combat gear."

She laughed throatily. "It would depend on who the sweaty bloke was."

"Is that so?" He held her gaze, his eyes glittering mischievously, until she looked away. He knew their conversation was getting close to dangerous territory but it was still the right side of harmless flirting. Just.

Ruth put her coffee mug down and frowned. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why was the Special Forces soldier squashing you into the tarmac?"

She saw him hesitate for a second before he replied. "He was being a bit overzealous."

"Harry." There was a note of warning in her voice.

"One of the suspects started shooting and my friendly squaddie seemed to think that I was the target. He rugby-tackled me and," he tentatively pressed his fingers against his side, "nearly broke my ribs in the process."

She was completely still and Harry watched her, closely, waiting for her to say something.

"You didn't go to see the duty doctor did you?"

Her response wasn't quite what he expected. "I, well…there wasn't…"

"What? Time? Need?" she challenged. "Look at the state of you!"

"I'm fine, really."

"You don't look fine."

"Thanks," he muttered, not entirely sure why Ruth was so worked up about the state of his health.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just…I don't know…worried you might have been hit on the head or have internal injuries or something…" She fell silent, unable to articulate how frightened she'd been by the morning's events.

He watched as her fingers fiddled nervously with the tablemat. "So does my behaviour give you reason to believe I've had a blow to the head?"

"No more than usual." She risked a quick look at him and was relieved to see he was smiling.

"Now who's pushing their luck?" he teased.

She blushed and hastily changed the subject. "Will you be alright on your own? Tonight, I mean."

"I'm not on my own." His gaze had shifted across the kitchen. "I have Scarlett."

The dog stirred at the mention of her name and trotted over to Harry.

"You won't let me die in my bed, will you girl?" He fussed over the animal, scratching her affectionately behind the ears.

"Maybe I should stay…" The idea that had seemed perfectly innocent as it entered Ruth's brain had somehow mutated into a proposition as the words left her mouth. She started to babble. "F-for a while longer I mean. Just to make sure you're alright."

"I, er, well I suppose… It's up to you." Harry's less than articulate reply was directed at the table as he seemed unable, or unwilling, to look her in the eye.

"Right."

He wasn't entirely sure if she was agreeing with what he'd said or confirming she was definitely staying. He stood up, slowly, aware of his aching muscles and another, usually suppressed, feeling that was being fed by Ruth's presence.

"I'm going to have a bath."

"OK." Ruth picked up their empty mugs and headed towards the sink. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

Harry could think of several responses to her question but opted for an innocuous one. "Can you just let Scarlett have a quick run round the garden?"

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter has adult content.**

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**Chapter 2**

With the security lights on, most of the garden could be seen. It was well-established with a number of mature shrubs, a few of which were in need of pruning. Ruth wondered if Harry looked after it himself and happily lost herself in a fantasy of spending a warm, summer Sunday afternoon with him, tending to the plants. Her thoughts of quiet domesticity were interrupted by the dog, who had clearly had enough fresh air and was keen to get indoors again.

As she locked the back door, Ruth could hear the floorboards above her creaking. She paced round the kitchen wondering if it was acceptable for her to go and check on Harry. Finally, pushing aside her indecision, she headed upstairs.

She hesitated for a moment and then knocked on the bathroom door. "Harry? Are you alright?"

"Not really, no."

"Do you want me to come in?"

"Yes but hang on a minute."

When he eventually called her in, she found him standing in the middle of the floor with a towel wrapped round him.

"You'll have to help me get in. I can't quite…" he gestured to the bath.

She looked at him, noting the scratches on his chest and the beginnings of a large bruise on his left shin. The fear she had felt earlier began to resurface.

"Ruth?"

"Sorry." She moved towards him. "Sit on the edge of the bath and swing your legs over. Then lower yourself into the water."

"You think that'll work?" The doubtfulness in his voice was reflected in his face.

"Yes. Just take your time. I'll help you."

As he made to sit on the side of the bath she stopped him. "You need to take the towel off."

"But I'm…I haven't got any…"

"For God's sake Harry, I have seen a naked man before."

There was an awkward silence that Ruth finally broke. "Come on," she said, quietly, "it's only me."

Harry decided it was less embarrassing to go along with her suggestion than try to explain it was _her_ presence that was making him feel uncomfortable.

Once he was settled into the water, Ruth stepped back a little way from the bath. "Will you be able to manage now?"

"I think so."

He began to wash some oily marks off his forearms but was clearly in some pain.

"Let me." She took the sponge out of his hand and leant over him. "There's nothing wrong with asking for help from a friend, Harry." She worked methodically as she spoke, tenderly cleansing his skin.

"Isn't this more than friendship?"

Her hand stilled and his unanswered question hung in the air.

"Ruth?"

"This isn't going to work."

He caught hold of her arm as she started to turn away from him. "Don't go, please."

She smiled at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

He watched as she moved away again, her actions seeming to contradict her words. His confusion increased as she tugged her top over her head and hung it on the hook on the back of the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll get in with you. It'll be a lot easier."

As her hands moved to the clasp of her bra, some sense of propriety kicked in and he looked away from her. "No, I can-"

"Stop arguing," she said, firmly, cutting through his protest.

His gaze remained focused on the tiled wall as she removed the rest of her clothes and then climbed into the bath, settling herself behind him.

He was hunched forward, muscles tensed, but she felt him begin to relax as she started to gently wash his back. "Is this a souvenir from Northern Ireland too?" Her finger traced over a long silvery scar that ran from below his right shoulder blade to just above his waist.

"No. It's from my student days."

"Tell me."

"One evening, me and my friends went down to the river with some girls we'd met. We'd spent the day drinking and were daring each other to do more outrageous things. Somehow, I ended up naked and dancing on the riverbank. I lost my footing and fell in the water. I got out but one of my pals thought it would be funny to push me back in. I cut my back open on a metal post that was sticking up from the riverbed."

Her hands had stopped moving. "You're lucky you didn't drown or bleed to death."

"I know. Instead I got twenty-five stitches, a sore arse from a tetanus shot and a bollocking from a bad-tempered copper."

She softly kissed the back of his neck. "What about the girls?"

"None of them stayed around to give me the kind of care and attention I'm getting from you."

She slid her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "More fool them."

"Not really. I was a bastard where women were concerned. I spent too much time planning how to get the next one into bed and not enough time appreciating the one I was with."

He wondered how it had suddenly become so easy to be with her like this. It wasn't just the intimacy of being naked with her or letting her wash him. He was telling her about a part of his life he wasn't proud of and hadn't discussed with anyone for a long time.

She moved and he thought she was going to get out of the bath; she didn't. Instead, she knelt behind him and reached round to soap his chest. When she told him to lean back against her, he did so. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the gentle motion of her hands and the sensation of skin against skin. His own hands moved to his lap in a slightly off-kilter show of good manners as he tried to hide the evidence of his reaction to her touch.

"Don't." Her lips brushed his ear as she spoke.

He moved his hands in response to her instruction and gasped when her fingers closed round him.

"Ruth, you don't have to…"

"Sssh, don't say anything."

He was surprised at the confidence of her actions, not that he thought she was inexperienced; no, it was the lack of inhibition. She didn't hesitate.

Somewhere, in the hazy recesses of his mind, he registered the thought that there was no going back from this. This tender, intimate, loving act changed everything between them.

He tensed. She gave him a final, firm stroke and felt the warmth of his release in her palm. Nothing was said. Instead, she shifted so she was sitting behind him again, her legs stretched out either side of his. She waited until his breathing slowed and then leant back against the end of the bath.

"Lie back, I want to feel you against me."

"I'll squash you," he murmured.

"No you won't. Come here."

He obeyed.

For once, Ruth decided, she wouldn't analyse her actions or worry about the consequences. Instead, she would just enjoy holding Harry in her arms and listening to his soft, steady breaths.

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**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Final chapter. More adult content.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Most of the warmth had gone from the water by the time he finally stirred. "Have I been asleep?"

"For a little while."

"Sorry."

"Don't be." She kissed the side of his face.

He ran his fingers along her leg and lightly squeezed her thigh. "The water's getting cold."

She got out of the bath first so she could help him. They stood facing each other, both shivering as water dripped from their bodies onto the floor.

"We should get dried."

"Yes, we should."

Ruth reached for the towels and handed one to Harry. As he took it, he couldn't resist leaning down and kissing her. She moved her hand to the back of his head and drew him closer. He let her tease him for a few moments by sucking gently on his bottom lip before he pulled away.

"If I kiss you again, I won't stop." His voice was low and full of promise.

She responded by pressing her body against him and their mouths met in a fiery, intense kiss.

They stumbled into the bedroom, reluctant to let go of each other. Harry pulled her down onto the mattress and cupped her face in his hands.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she whispered, breathlessly. "I'm sure."

He rolled onto his side and she lay down next to him, entwining her legs with his. She could feel how aroused he was and took him into her hand.

His lips brushed over her jaw before returning to her mouth when her grip on him tightened. He rewarded her with a deeper kiss and moved his hand across her stomach. She moaned into his mouth as she felt his initial, tentative touches. When she increased the speed and pressure of her caresses, his fingers explored further, deeper.

He broke the kiss. "Stop for a moment. There's something I want to do for you."

She reluctantly let go of him as he nudged her onto her back. His mouth moved to her neck and she arched up against him as his tongue stroked over her skin. He took his time and slowly worked down her body, teasing her with gentle kisses.

Ruth lost herself to the sensations he was creating. His lips were soft, and every touch of them against her skin increased her desire.

"Please Harry," she gasped as his teeth scraped over a nipple. "I need you."

He tenderly kissed between her breasts before raising his head to look at her. She didn't have to ask him again.

He felt her push her hips up against him as soon as he started to enter her. The pain from his bruised and damaged body receded, anaesthetised by the joy of giving her pleasure. It felt perfect, being surrounded by her and hearing her rasping breaths as he took her closer to her release.

Ruth's nails dug into his back and she stopped moving; he didn't. As the final waves of her climax pulsed through her, she realised he was still seeking his own release. She managed to co-ordinate her body to match his rhythm, wanting him to feel the same ecstasy she had. She rocked her hips against him one final time and felt the heat inside her as his control went.

* * *

Harry stretched his hand out, scrabbling to find the alarm and switch it off. Ruth mumbled something and shifted against him. He kissed her forehead and watched her for a few moments, wondering if she would regret what had happened between them. She moved again before opening her eyes and smiling sleepily at him.

"Morning," he said, quietly.

"Morning. What time is it?"

"Time to get up, unfortunately."

He laughed as she groaned and pressed her face into his shoulder.

"Phone in sick." Her voice was muffled.

"I can't do that."

She moved her head so she could look at him. "Yes you can. I'll stay here with you."

"And what will your excuse be?"

"I'm looking after you."

His lips brushed over hers. "Mmm, Nurse Ruth… That's a very tempting idea," he muttered between kisses.

She pulled him closer, her arms tightening round his back, and his earlier worries melted away.

It was with great reluctance that he finally extricated himself from her embrace. "You can stay here while I have a shave." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I won't be long."

* * *

Ruth propped herself against the doorframe and watched him. His head was tilted back as he scraped the razor over his neck but he spotted her out of the corner of his eye.

"I thought you'd gone back to sleep. "

"The bed got cold without you." She moved to stand behind him. "Your bruises are coming out." She lightly ran her fingers over the marks.

"They'll soon go."

She heard his breath hitch as she pressed herself against his back, sliding her hands around his waist. "I wish you'd take the day off and rest. I'll look after you."

He turned in her arms until he was facing her. "Somehow, I don't think I'd get much rest if you spent the day with me."

"I'll be gentle with you."

Harry laughed. "I know you will." He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up. "I'd love to spend the day with you but I have to go to the JIC and then to a meeting with the Home Secretary."

"Duty calls."

"It does, yes." There was genuine regret in his voice. "Perhaps you could look after me this evening?"

She pouted at him. "I might be busy."

He trapped her lips in a soft, sensuous kiss. "I'll beg if I have to," he breathed as he finally released her mouth.

"I might make you."

"Fine. Now are you going to let me finish getting ready for work?"

"I suppose so."

* * *

When Harry returned to the bedroom, he found Ruth sitting on the edge of the bed, crying.

"Ruth? What's wrong?"

"You bloody stupid man, you nearly got yourself killed!"

He sat down next to her and pulled her against him. "Oh sweetheart."

"Stupid man," she repeated and continued to tell him off in between sobs.

He couldn't make out everything she was saying but understood enough to realise how terrified she'd been by what had happened the day before.

"It's OK, Ruth."

"No it's not. I could have lost you."

He held her, tightly, overcome by a wave of emotion triggered by her words. "Well you didn't. You've got me, for as long as you want me."

Her lips sought his and she kissed him, hard, her tongue pushing forcefully into his mouth. He let her dominate the kiss, knowing it was the only way she could express her feelings at that moment.

She pulled away from him, breathless and trembling. "Promise me you won't get shot at again."

He brushed her hair away from her face. "You know I can't. But I promise I'll _try_ not to get shot at again. Will that do?"

Her brow furrowed as she considered his suggestion. "OK."

* * *

Ruth sat at the kitchen table only half-listening to Harry as he chatted to her while he made their breakfast. A mug of tea was placed in front of her.

"Are you alright?" His voice was soft and full of concern.

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "Really, I'm fine now. I'm s-sorry about… earlier."

He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

The toaster clunked loudly, making them both jump.

"Bloody thing," Harry cursed. "Do you want marmalade?"

"I love you."

There was silence.

"Did you hear me?" She took a deep breath, trying to quell the panic that was beginning to rise in her chest. "I said I love you."

"I heard you." He grasped her hands tightly. "And I love you. Now, do you want marmalade?"

She relaxed and let out a breathy laugh. "Yes please."

He smiled slowly. "So, about this evening…"

She pulled one of her hands free and started to fiddle with his tie. "Actually, I might not be busy, after all."

_The End_

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**Thanks for reading. :) **


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